Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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