you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
