kristin has been a bad kristin
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
