OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
