And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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