just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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