After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
