My first STD was from a foam party
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize