Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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