Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
