Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
