When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
