She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
