did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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