it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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