Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize