Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Your cock deserves a montage
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
