hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
