I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
