She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize