My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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