remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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