I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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