yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
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