Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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