dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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