Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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