I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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