Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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