so explain again why im purple
no
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
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I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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