You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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