four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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