the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
They have beer where we have blood.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
