don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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