Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize