the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
