spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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