He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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