I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
