is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
