so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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