Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
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