Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
