Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
