pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just pee around me
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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