How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
