I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
