Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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