Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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