Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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