**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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