in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
