So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
