just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
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