She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize