would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
