The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
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You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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