whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
